The cover illustration shows a knight riding on top of an armored horse through the moonlit woods with a steel bird flying behind it.
Your cousins, Kip and Abbey Saxton, come to visit from England. Kip is your age and Abbey is 15. They're staying at your house for a week. Another cool thing is that they brought presents, two knight suits from the medieval times. The 1400s, to be exact. One suit is marked Good Knight, for it belonged to your ancestor, Sir Edmund Saxton, and the other suit is marked Evil Knight, as the evil suit was cursed by a sorceress. Your family is cursed, and the knights are here to deliver the curse! Which crate will you open? Will you be hypnotized by the Evil Knight, or turned into a mannequin by the Good Knight? That's not all. There is also a gardener, mud monsters, and evil sheep!
There are nineteen bad endings and three good endings.
- You don't rely on your own head to save Kip from mannequin guard heads, so instead, you try the mannequin head that's at the highest place in the room. When you come to eye level with it, the mannequin head turns around to face you. It turns out to be the head of the Evil Knight and it switches heads with you.
- You have a queen's head, Abbey has your head, and Kip has a gargoyle's head. When the other mannequin heads start screaming at 6:00 AM, you grab the ringing three-faced clock from your sweatshirt and decide to use it. When you touch the handless orange clock face, though, it stops time.
- Abbey, who has turned into a nighthawk, flies over to a nest on a mountaintop and drops you and Kip into it. Egg shells form around you both, trapping you inside. You don't know when (or if) the eggs will hatch, and it's implied they probably never will.
- You, Kip, and Abbey are turning into babies and growing younger. You turn the time around on the green clock face and Kip and Abbey turn back to normal. But you remain a baby.
- While you were asleep, the Evil Knight turned you into one of his personal guardsmen.
- You, Kip, and Abbey never find your way out of the hedges. In a few days, you die from starving, dehydration, and exhaustion. Years later, your bodies mix in with the soil and you become plant food for the hedges.
- You, Kip, and Abbey try to escape from an old three-headed gardener wizard. But he turns the three of you into one three-headed person.
- You, Kip, and Abbey become flowers in a garden of an old three-headed gardener wizard. You find that he caught other people and did the same thing to them.
- After touching a suit of armor, an iron cage drops from the ceiling and imprisons you.
- Trapped inside one of the crates, unable to get out.
- You climb up a mountain made of fragments of stone people to pick up a shiny object on the top. But it turns out to be the finger of the Evil Knight. He throws you off the edge. Then you, Kip, and Abbey join the countless number of people assimilated on the mountain.
- You, Kip, and Abbey get pinned to a wall by mud monsters. The mud hardens, trapping all of you on a wall.
- You, Kip, and Abbey join a group of ghost monks after putting on their robes.
- Feeling like you aren't ready for a jousting duel, the sorceress puts a curse upon your armor, making you break out in a rash that can never be healed. This gives the Evil Knight time to finish you off.
- Kip is drowning in a lake, and just as you are about to rescue him, the Evil Knight appears, with Abbey as a nighthawk. After Abbey reverts back to her original form, landing in the lake, the Evil Knight multiplies into many. It's implied that you and your cousins meet an unpleasant end.
- The old three-headed gardener wizard turns you, Kip, and Abbey into birds.
- You turn into a Cuckoo Clock bird after interacting with the Cuckoo Clock of Doom.
- You and your cousins are trying to escape from a room, whose walls are closing in on you. You realize that the answer to the riddle you hold is what you had never hoped to find out: LATER becomes NOW, which only lasts but a split second, and becomes THEN. And since the ugly truth is that you won't be able to escape, it's THE END.
- You soon realize you haven't gotten rid of the curse when you see a branch in your room, and hear the Evil Knight's metallic voice.
- The Knight in Screaming Armor is going to destroy all that is good. EVIL spelled backwards is LIVE, which is one thing you won't be doing when he's through with you. (Note that you're given another chance, if you think it's too early to end the story.)
- After turning the hands on the pink clock face, you and your cousins turn into elderly people. Then you sneeze, unintentionally summoning the Keeper of Time. You decide to move the pink clock's hands forward so the Keeper ages faster. You all grow older, and just as it looks like your time has expired, the Keeper expires first. Then you change yourself and your cousins back to normal. (You are then told to turn to another page, as the story hasn't ended yet.)
- You wake up back in the garage, with Abbey and Kip sitting next to you. You wonder if the Mud Slingers and the Evil Knight were all imaginary.
- You end up defeating the Evil Knight, and thus have broken the curse. The Sorceress becomes old and decrepit, and all her magical powers disappear. You and your cousins are brought back home, but when you try to tell them what happened, they find it hard to believe. You come across a steaming heap of scrap metal on the floor, proof that everything really did happen.
Cover Art Gallery
- Most of the choices are based on things that, realistically, the reader should not be in control of. There has been no official explanation as to why that happened.
- This book is the only book in the Give Yourself Goosebumps series where the reader's character is given a surname: Saxton.
- The clock from the Goosebumps book, The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, appears in this book.
- The Mud Monsters, King Jellyjam and the Lord High Executioner make an appearance in this book as well.
- The phrase, "YOU'RE PLANT FOOD!" was used as one of the book titles in the Give Yourself Goosebumps series.
- While most of the books do not mention the reader's race or appearance (in order to accommodate the reader), this one specifies that "you" have Anglo-Saxton ancestry.